Whether you are drafting your college essay on any topic, it is a good idea to surf through examples. Below are some excellent samples and examples to help our students impress the audience. College Application Essay Example Words. Some colleges require short essays of around to College Essay Draft Example essay example draft college essay Although you are to draft a narrative essay for your college assignment, make sure it is professionally written. May god bless you and your family always The sample rough draft on the right shows you an example of just how much more work a rough draft can need, even a really solid first draft. Take a look at this example with notes a student wrote on her rough draft. Once you complete your own rough draft, you will want to engage in a revision and editing process that involves feedback, time, and diligence on your part. The steps that follow in this section of the Excelsior OWL will help! Rough Draft Example
Rough Drafts - Excelsior College OWL
The following drafts and college essay examples are written by Shania Khoo for her Common App college essay and shared as a part of her guest post for the Get Into Ivy Seniors Stories series. By sharing her experiences and giving you an inside view into her essay drafts, notes, and college essay draft example essay examples, Shania hopes to shed light on the writing process to help future college applicants navigate the process of writing college essays:.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it, college essay draft example. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. For her final essay in her college essay examples, Shania recognized her challenges with the initial prompt and pivoted to address a different essay prompt:. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
For additional information on her writing process, check out her guest post on How to Write a College Application Essay. Once, I told a story about growing up as an Asian immigrant in the American South. I told the story about how I hated the tint of my skin and shape of eyes and the color of my hair. I got lost between Chinese and English, my tongue unable to decide and instead settling on the embarrassing remnants of a product of Malaysia and the South.
It begins with a rosy-cheeked college essay draft example that landed in America on a snowy night, rubbing her eyes in awe of the whiteness that covered the new world. If everyone has the same story, why do all of us remain silent?
I watched as my peers shifted uncomfortably when I spoke out about Asian American and Pacific Islander AAPI issues. I want to contribute. I want my voice to be heard without taking away from the struggles of others.
As an ethnic minority in the United States, where do I lie in this dichotomous racial divide between black and white? I organize workshops and discussions, hoping others will tell their stories, inspiring them by telling mine. I spoke when no one else dared to, encouraging others to do the same. I refuse to be silenced. I refuse for my identity to be replaced by a caricature of cultural stereotypes, because there are two sides to my story: Forks and chopsticks.
Ramen and Spaghetti. Bruce Lee college essay draft example Springsteen. Asian and American. IDEA: Contrast the Area III Blindfold thing to labelling in real life. the hatred of stereotypes and love of culture. Born in Singapore to Peranakan Malaysian parents, I was another 2AM arrival at the Raleigh-Durham International Airport, joining the college essay draft example of Asian immigrants taking on the American Dream. When I first arrived, I found myself caught at a crossroads between two cultures, college essay draft example.
I became self-conscious of my too-thick Singaporean accent, ashamed of my lunches that made other kids pinch their noses, and aware that I was different. It was a foreign concept to me to be two cultures at once; either I was American or I was Peranakan, and assimilating to be like everyone else seemed so much easier than embracing my ethnicity and culture.
I realized that that assimilating and forgetting where I come from made me lose myself in the process. My confusion is paralleled by four voices coming from around me, college essay draft example. It feels like that in less than an hour, I felt like I already knew more about these strangers than my friends at school, college essay draft example. The rich culture and college essay draft example that my parents grew up with in Penang, Malaysia had been covered up by a slew of Asian stereotypes, college essay draft example.
Soon after this, I was exposed to all the stereotypes which often lump Asians together. I was placed in an English as a Second Language program because my Singaporean accent was just slightly too thick for Americans to understand; English was my first language. I became self-conscious that my hair was jet black, wishing that it was actually strawberry blonde like my blindfolded partners had thought.
Being Asian felt like a curse, and I hated being burdened by the expectations to be smart, the bullying of ignorant children, and constantly being misidentified as Chinese. When the blindfolds took away my Asianness, I was ecstatic to be momentarily lifted of such a burden. However, as the summer marched on and we delved into questions regarding race and identity in Area III, a class where we openly and respectfully discuss important but difficult issues, I realized that to remove myself of my Asianness denied me of my identity.
I play the violin because I love music, not because I am Asian. I excel academically because I have worked hard, not because I am Asian. I am learning to love my life in pairs: Forks and chopsticks. Blindfolded or not, I am Asian and American. Wiggling my toes, I fought to keep my thoughts from spiraling away from me. Earthquakes rumbled beneath my feet and wasps buzzed in my stomach as stagefright enveloped me. The eyes of a hundred audience members burned into me, coloring me crimson red, college essay draft example.
My poem told my story, beginning with rosy-cheeked five-year-old me landing in America on a snowy night and rubbing my eyes in awe of the whiteness covering the new world. Despite immigrating from Singapore twelve years ago, I was scared that I would trip over words and pronunciations. I was afraid of speaking too fast, of crying, of not being able to form a coherent thought. Yet, performing my poem, I did not stutter or falter. I finished and breathed a sigh of relief.
The auditorium filled with a deafening silence. But then, one clap led to another, and another, and soon the entire audience was on their feet as cheers and applause echoed off every corner. It was then that I decided to no longer bite my tongue. Working with organizations such as the East Coast Asian American Student Union, I led workshops and facilitated discussions on difficult topics such as college essay draft example health, college essay draft example triangulation, and identity, encouraging others to tell their stories, inspiring them by telling mine.
Through Misidentific[Asian], college essay draft example, a photo campaign I started to encourage students to share how their identity has affected their lives, and Humans of Green Hope, I interview and learn from people from all walks of life, college essay draft example their stories and lending my voice to those who too often remain ignored. I refuse to stay silent. I refuse for my identity to be replaced by a caricature of cultural stereotypes because there are two sides to my story: Forks and chopsticks.
Ramen and spaghetti. With my chin held high, I no longer feel the wasps within me or the earthquake beneath me, and I tell my story. College essay draft example email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. LIMITED TIME FREE TRIAL of our full college application guide: The College Application Blueprint! Close Top Banner. Our flagship course is now live! Get the College Application Blueprint for Ivy League experts' guidance to help you build a successful college application.
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The sample rough draft on the right shows you an example of just how much more work a rough draft can need, even a really solid first draft. Take a look at this example with notes a student wrote on her rough draft. Once you complete your own rough draft, you will want to engage in a revision and editing process that involves feedback, time, and diligence on your part. The steps that follow in this section of the Excelsior OWL will help! Rough Draft Example Whether you are drafting your college essay on any topic, it is a good idea to surf through examples. Below are some excellent samples and examples to help our students impress the audience. College Application Essay Example Words. Some colleges require short essays of around to College Essay Draft Example essay example draft college essay Although you are to draft a narrative essay for your college assignment, make sure it is professionally written. May god bless you and your family always
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